Budgets for Millionaires

I am a millionaire. I am. I have won lotto more times then I can count and the feeling of excitement, the bubbles and the butterflies are always the same. The stupid grin on my face never changes and I always spend it the same way.

Firstly, I divy up equal amounts between the five kids – a million each. In trust funds of course. They get weekly payments from their 18th birthdays which increases with age – decreases with stupidity – with the full amount being accessible by the time they turn 25. Unless they’re arseholes – then they get nothing. Conditions: do good with your life. Find happiness. Don’t be an arsehole.

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Secondly, I get my family together including my in-laws. We call a secret meeting to tell them we have important news and they have to be here to hear it or they miss out. We are always standing in my Mum’s house I don’t know why but we always seem to end up there. Vinnie and I hand them all special little envelopes – all pastel and pretty – we count to three and tell them to open them together. Imagine their surprise! Always a million each for our parents and half a million to our siblings. Conditions for our parents are: they must spend it! All of it on getting amongst the living and holidaying! Conditions for our siblings: be happy and enjoy.

Image courtesy of: https://www.etsy.com/listing/200621913/12-pretty-pastel-gift-card-envelopes

Thirdly, we pay Pink a million dollars to do a private concert for us – with just our family and friends – somewhere remote like El Questro. Yes, I said Pink. I spend a mill on Pink every time I win lotto.

Yep! It's true love!

Yep! It’s true love!

Fourthly, we donate a million to our two favourite charities. But we don’t just give it to them, no that’s too easy. We buy things for them. Life changing, treatment transforming machines for PMH. Accommodation/entertainment/camps/fundays for Camp Quality. We make it get put to real good use and see where it has gone!

Camp Quality – my other love!

Princess Margaret Hospital – loving our kids!

Fifth on the list is property. I always buy property. Usually a renovators delight – which I renovate with absolute delight as I please. I also build a themed village – with each home styled in a different style that I love … Industrial, hamptons, country, vintage, chic. I would then let them out to families, women or men who are going through tough times. Conditions for them being: they must be willing to choose to smile more, be grateful and welcome awesome new opportunities into their lives.

Renovators

Renovators Delight!

Sixth and last on the list is us. Our dream home. An automatic car. A new dining table that seats 8 comfortably and a lounge.

That’s it.

Then I wake up.

What’s your lotto dream?

One love,
DRK xxx

Dreams & Dirty Thoughts

My Hubbie and I travelled home through the Swan Valley the other day which can only be described as lusciously dewy, especially in the mornings. We’ve done this trek many times and as usual it stirs up some long sitting dreams within us. It always starts out the same with my husband declaring that he would love to give up his day job and instead build wooden wagon wheels to sell Australia wide. Yes you read that right, wooden wagon wheels to sell Australia wide. He’d also love to own a draft horse, he says, and have a (home-made) carriage so we could hire it out for weddings occasionally….. It’s quite a sweet dream I’m just not sure how profitable wagon wheel selling is since… well since man invented cars?! But who am I to judge says the girl who is hoping to invent mosquitoes that suck fat.

We, also always discuss our common dream of having a B&B – mine luxuriously OTT with everything you could ask for and more (more as in stuff that is pretty useless but pretty all the same) and his is an upgraded version of mine site donger with the basic necessities and definitely no pretties. Our “matching” dream of running a B&B usually ends there because that is where my even crazier visualisations take over and my mouth follows suit. I have always said if I could attach a printer to my brain it would help people understand what I can ‘see’ in there – my next important invention alongside fat sucking mosquitoes… So before I know it I am telling him our B&B will be on lush, green acreage – totally realistic in this sunburnt Australian country! It is also purpose built for wedding one stop extravaganzas! By one-stop I mean there will be a stone ‘chapel’ which is cute yet totally practical, a reception hall decked out with all the mod-cons but with plenty of character and breathtaking beauty and of course, accommodation for the bridal party, guests and a kick-ass bridal suite for the lovebirds. I also added at the end of the conversation that we would also need a big bus to transport people back into town after the wedding… At this point my husband looked at me funny. Yep, that visual brain of mine got totally carried away confusing dreams with reality….. But that is so totally me and they are the luxurious additions to his simple dream of a bed and breakfast, wagon wheels and a horse drawn cart…. One Powerball and we can have it all … Except the year round lush green grass – courtesy of the Aussie summers!

While I had my hubbie in a chatty mood, which is rare because he’s generally pretty quiet, I asked him if he would like to inspire my next post for me. I asked him to think of a sentence to start me off or tell me something he’d heard/read/seen recently that was funny. Something that would get the writing juices flowing for the next four hours in the car. Well, surprisingly, his eyes lit up, a smile that I have seen a billion times spread across his face and his head started making fast paced whirring noises but as he opened his mouth to speak I interrupted him, as all good wives should, and said “It can’t be dirty, ok?” … Instantly his eyes lost their twinkle and the cheeky smile vanished from his face and I could tell he was trying real hard to think of something clean because the whirring noise turned into clanging and banging, I’m pretty sure I saw a puff of smoke come out of his nose too. That part of his brain hasn’t been used for awhile. Silence then followed for a moment as I left him to catch his thoughts until finally he said, “Nup. I got nothing! Unless you want to tell them about my dream the other night. You know the one with me and you and the really flexible girl on our dining table?” Yep and nup! I do NOT want to write a post about that. I am all good for classy girls swearing but dirty mens talk should be left in the shed as should womens unsugar-coated venting be left at the coffee shop because isn’t that all we do all day ladies?!

So, then this is it. This is your husband inspired post. A moment, a small slice of conversation between a husband and wife as they discuss their dreams and visions for the future. A post about our dreams and his dirty mind.

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He really is!

 

One love,

DRK xxx

Working Shit Out ….

What do you do when you don’t know what to do? How do you figure it out?

I am so busy with a full household and with a full household comes a full schedule and with a FIFO husband comes a fucken full schedule. I barely have time to do anything on top of the necessities let alone spend time finding out what it is I really want to do. Even since giving up Facebook with all my extra time I have now started blogging daily (yep, loving it) but I have already let slip some household duties, namely ironing, so I am now overloaded with ironing piles – now remember I have five children right so skimping on ironing even just for one day is bad …. really bad! Also I am not vacuuming every day as I usually would and I have only mopped once this week – which may not sound bad but it’s not my usual way of housewife-ing and again lets just remind you that I have five kids – four of which are stinky dirty boys!

If I had more time (or was more organised) I would have weekly menus, shopping lists ready to go, a de-cluttered home (yes the ironing would be done), I’d exercise more to have the figure that I desperately want, and I’d have a plan of what I want to do in my life. So I need to be organised to be organised right?! Maybe this is fairly common for stay-at-home/working mums because during the whole ‘giving’ and ‘being’ we forget who we are and we become confused as to what it is we should be doing as opposed to what we want to be doing but then that would be totally selfish right?!

So I asked myself an important question and quite possibly a pointless one …. Q: If time and money weren’t an issue what would I do?? Really what would I do? A: Well, my dream is to renovate old character houses, decorating them in styles and themes that I love and then I would on sell them and they would be smokin’ red hot because I have some awesome ideas and concepts! I would write a best selling novel because I have so many friggin’ cool stories locked away in my creative mind. I would holiday in the sunshine coz I like it all sunshiny and warm, hell I’d have a holiday house where I would go to write. I would inspire others to live life – I don’t know how I just would. I’d read a book in a day, a whole freakin book! I’d have a personal yoga instructor and an ironing person and a chef and a person who comes in every day and puts new sheets on my bed! I knew I should of been born a princess!

Not sure it is helpful to think of these things and I think I am done now having a whinge for now …

I would love to hear your dreams and goals – come on, fucken inspire me Superwomen!!!

One Love

DRK xxx

I once slept with Johnny Depp

I dreamt some really weird shit last night. Also the night before that AND the night before that too!

I dreamt about friends being really mean, murderers out to get me, then me murdering one of them in self defence with their own weapon which was those star disc thingamabobs that you see in the ninja movies…… It’s called a Shuriken apparently (thanks Google!) – don’t ask me to pronounce it though!

My self defence included a very detailed scene of being squirted with blood from a gashed thigh artery. I think it even went in my mouth – why would I dream something so graphic! Let me tell you it wasn’t pleasant. This is the first time I’ve had a dream like this but I often dream of mean girls and a cheating partner which generally gets my day off to a bad start. This usually involves me rolling over and whacking my husband on the shoulder with my cranky-pants-husky-morning-breath voice accusingly yelling “You cheated on me last night.” Yep, that means no morning glory sunshine coz you jumped into my dream and bed with another woman!

I used to analyse my dreams, keep a dream diary and try connect the dots. Now I am just thankful for being able to sleep and watch movies at the same time. I’ve always been a very visual and creative person so its no wonder my brain can’t shut off. If only my hand could type while I’m sleeping coz then I would be pumping out some pretty awesome best selling novels!

I once slept with Johnny Depp. He’s my hall pass. I’ve been in love with him since the late 1980’s so to finally get a chance to shag him was pretty … well it was a dream come true or not really a dream come true more truthfully just a dream. Oh well better then thigh slicing with Shurikens! Hoping Channing Tatum might visit me next 🙂

Here’s some Johnny love to brighten your Friday…….

Johnny-Depp-21JumpStreet 971212-johnny-depp acteur_johnny-depp_9_1141998498 In_Bed_With_Johnny_by_LoveJohnnyDeppClub

One Love

DRK xxx

Sometimes “Home” is not where you live

I’m feeling rather sentimental today – perhaps even emotional. It might be because I’ve just spent the morning with a long time friend that I haven’t seen in awhile or the fact I’ve spent my spare ten minutes flicking through a house magazine wondering about the meaning I’ve put on bricks and mortar.

Home is

For such a long time I’ve resisted the change which is coming – moving to a more inland (a.k.a – hot and dusty) location. I’ve resisted it because I’ve been brought up two minutes from the ocean all my life bar the first five years. So I’ve always been able to hear the waves crashing if not see them. Even from my table now I can look out and see the sea breeze coming in off the water. I can see our beautiful coastline of blues and greens, the red and white lighthouse and the busy port. I see kite surfers at Backers enjoying our windy city weather and the many ships waiting on the horizon. I know how lucky I am to have this.

And this is my house. Where my heart has felt most at home. This is the place I’ve lived for just five years but it’s the house I came to as a little girl to visit my Grandfather. He built this house for his wife and daughters. My grandmother that I never met walked these hallways and it is here I feel I can at least acknowledge her life, that she did exist. I know she must of have been an amazing woman because she is the mother of another amazing woman … My Mum.

So because of this love I don’t see the flaking paint on the ceiling or the peeling corners of the wallpaper. Even the brown and orange tiles, together with the green and blue carpet doesn’t phase me even though I am an Interior Stylist and it should because it goes against all I’ve been taught and all that I know. To renovate this house has always been a dream of mine. But it wasn’t my husbands dream….

He’s a farm boy at heart. He loves the quiet remote life. The dust and the flies. He’d love noting more than to whisk us all, away to a remote station somewhere. Where he could work the land, raising sheep and cattle while I would run our little homestead on the huge piece of Australian soil of ours. Knowing this huge financial burden wasn’t attainable in his immediate future he instead bought a smaller piece of land prior to meeting me to build his dream home. This, he envisioned, would be a simple three bedroom home occupied by his farmer wife and their two kids, a boy and a girl. Little did he know that his future actually included a “beach city” wife who already had three children of her own and then had another two boys together. The acreage, the three bedroom house and white picket fence no longer existed quite so simply for his future. More likely a noisy five bedroom home with a cranky city wife who doesn’t like the hot inland air.

It’s not about being the bigger person and ‘giving up’ my dream for him. It’s not about letting him have his way, I’m not. I’m not because my dream also includes a loving husband, my children, a roof over my head, happiness, love, respect and my family close by. Financial security, great friends, living and breathing and laughter are also on my big dream list! I will still have all of that and more. Nothing can take those things away unless I let them be taken. In the past I thought I was letting him win. That I was ripping myself off from what I wanted. I thought by letting this happen it meant his dream was more important than mine and if I didn’t at least put up a fight I would not be honouring myself. But I’ve spent 29 of the 34 years of my life living near the ocean. Maybe that means the next 29 will be in lived in the dust and hanging with the friendly flies and that’s ok, hell I may even like it ‘out there’!

Whatever happens though I know how lucky I am, how lucky I’ve been AND

how grateful I should remain for everything I have in my life…

Joie de Vivre

My new tattoo “Joie de Vivre” means “living with joy”. It’s a simple (and permanent) reminder that home is not just where the heart is but also where ever those that you love are. I inked myself with this in memory of my brother. He fought a battle no one ever should and with his passing he inspired those he loved to live happier.  So I’ve chosen to acknowledge that home isn’t just one singular place, one built with bricks and mortar but it is where ever my bunch of crazies are at. It’s time to let go of the material attachment I have and live in the heart, a place we are all most happiest in. I can’t say it’s going to be that simple but I can say I am going to make that change as best I can.

Does anyone else feel like they have had to ‘give’ something up to honour their relationship? If so, why….

One love,

DRK xxx