The Definition of Anxiety

Anxiety.

It’s not a medical illness nor a physical disability but it can feel deathly sickening and is often physically as well as mentally disabling.

Anxiety can stop you from doing normal things. It rides you and keeps you scared. It is fear on steroids. It tingles your insides but not in a good way. It makes your heart feel as if it is about to exlode from your chest and run away with the 20 cans of Red Bull that it feels like it has drunk.

Anxiety is not always obvious to outsiders. It’s not often a physical attritubte you can see with your own eyes. It doesn’t advertise itself on a billboard across your forehead. Anxiety is hidden within. Sometimes very well so.

Anxiety is a series of deep breaths, a lot of inner talking … Stay calm, deep breath, you’re ok. But anxiety usually yells louder … You’re going to fuck up, you’re not worthy, everyone is looking at you.

Anxiety causes you to over analyse situations, to obsess over the worst possible scenarios and can lead to compulsive behaviours.

Anxiety can feel like a heart attack. Then the anxiety increases because you begin thinking you are actually having a heart attack.

“Calm down.” These are not two words that will cure anxiety. Don’t say it to an anxious person. “Don’t worry. Be happy.” Another four words that will not cure anxiety.

Anxiety feels heavy and attacking. Heavy enough to weigh you down and brutal enough to make you feel like all of the nonense it tells you is true.

Anxiety lies to you. About everything. Anxiety is not a friend you want in your corner. Anxiety will not alter your future for the better but it will alter your present for the worse.

Breathing helps. Deep breathing. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4.

Move. Fast. Controlled. Deliberate. Then breathe. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4.

Speak. To someone you trust. A professional. A friend. And then breathe. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4.

Courage is not the first step. The first step is courageous. 

One love,

DRK xxx

If you or a loved one is experiencing severe anxiety or depression get help! Talk to someone you trust or find a professional who can help you.

Call Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

The Self-Worth Epidemic

Hard times come. Hard times go. Hard times teach us so much about ourselves and who in our lives are true. It educates us in knowing who are the ‘good time’ people and who are the people with their hands outstretched ready to dust off our knees and direct us to an upright position regardless of how many times we fall. In the few months when my decline into a sad state was obvious it made me realise I have plenty of dusty hands around me. I am so lucky to be surrounded by patient, kind and loving people who stood by me on the fall protecting me from harm until I was capable of getting back up on my own. They reminded me that I have the power and the competence of doing this thing called ‘life’. That, yes it can be overwhelming and may have you wondering if you can hold on any longer, but that you are, in fact, not just holding on you are actually rising during these challenging times. These are the times you are learning. You are developing, growing and becoming a better version of the person you are. With these people in my life, who only had good intentions for me, I did indeed grow. They reminded me that I get to choose to accept this time as a lesson and not as a form of punishment. And so that is my point to this post…. The point is what I learnt from these moments in my ‘upside down time’.

kn

Quote: Oprah

What I learnt as I was on the ground looking at the world upside down is that my belief of having ‘low self-worth’ has been leading me down a path of overwhelming feelings my entire life BUT that is all it is – a belief! And a falsified belief at that because what I know NOW and can see with absolute clarity is that self-worth does not grow or shrink. It does not fade. Self-worth just is. It is a natural, balanced and in-grained part of us all. We all have self-worth. We all have the same and equal amount. It is our self-confidence that tries to get us to believe that our self-worth comes with conditions. Conditions like: you will be worthy enough when you become more successful, when you lose weight, when you get best player, when you-if you-and-only then can you …. But it’s NOT TRUE! You were born with your total capacity full of self-worth. As a baby you did not believe you were a failure every time you fell after you first began to walk. You did not believe that because you had different coloured skin that you were not good enough. You did not believe that because you were chubbier then the baby next to you that you were not worthy of love or success in life. You were born with self-worth, you were born with an equal and anchored amount of it! Self-worth does not change it is a constant in your life that makes YOU WORTHY of whatever it is that you want, every single minute of every single day! The definition of self-worth is: the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person…. One’s own value as a person …. You were born, right? You are alive, right? You are a person, right? Then you’re value is equally as important as the person standing next to you, across from you, in front of you or behind you!

Self worth

SUPERWOMEN! Do you hear me? Do you hear me when I say YOU ARE WORTHY! Every inch of you is worthy of love, success, happiness, health, to be heard, to be nurtured, whatever it is you desire! Your self-worth is the same as mine, the same as Oprah’s, the same as Mother Teresa’s, the same as your favourite singer/actress/friend/enemy (favourite enemy – hmmm maybe a little carried away there!) Don’t ever let anyone tell you any different – including yourself! Do NOT ever let your beliefs tell you that you have low self-worth. Your self-worth is perfectly in balance but maybe your self-confidence just needs a little boost (or a swift kick up the arse!) It’s self-confidence that makes you doubt your ability and that is all that is too! Doubt, fear, uncertainty. Simplified it is your confidence in your own ability to do or be whatever it is you want. Do it or don’t do it. Didn’t succeed? Well try again! It is that simple – we’ve made it all so complicated. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – BE KIND to your fellow Superwomen (and Supermen followers too)! Let us all raise the self-confidence bar, stop beating up on self-worth, put on our red big girl knickers, capes, sing kumbayah around a camp fire and make daisy chains and fly together! It’ll be much more fun I swear!

3803

One Love
DRK xxx

What depression feels like…

‘It feels like you are in the middle of an ocean. Surrounded by boats filled with vibrant people. They are laughing happily amongst themselves. They are happy.They tell you to keep swimming. To keep yourself afloat. But you can’t swim. It’s the most overwhelming feeling you can ever feel. You feel like you are drowning in a sea of smiling faces.

It feels like you are in one cubic metre of quicksand. People are standing alongside it. They are smiling and chatting happily amongst each other. They throw you a piece of string and tell you to grab it. To hold on and pull yourself out. It is impossible. It’s fucking quicksand. You are sinking.

It feels like you are the axis of the world. You are standing still while it spins around you. No control. Just watching it spin.

It feels like you are a missile. Launched by someone else. Targeted somewhere else. In someone else’s control. Out of your own control.

It feels like a black hole. A rabbit trap. A suicide bomber. A puppet handled by a psychotic puppeteer.

It feels alone.
It feels scared.
It feels vulnerable.
It feels overwhelming.

It feels like smiling aliens are leaning into your space, speaking a language only they understand. You just nod and say “I’m fine…”

It feels like dread.
It feels like bad news.
It feels like your smile is painted on with a razor blade.
It feels like it will never end.
Never go away. Never.’

And if it’s you that feels this way then breathe. You are not alone. You are not weak. It’s ok to say, out loud, that you are not fine. There is a way out. There is a life jacket. There is a rescue helicopter on its way. And you are the pilot. You are the puppeteer. You are the missile launcher. You are somebody who matters. Really you are.

20140602-203453.jpg

One love,
DRK xxx