The Definition of Anxiety

Anxiety.

It’s not a medical illness nor a physical disability but it can feel deathly sickening and is often physically as well as mentally disabling.

Anxiety can stop you from doing normal things. It rides you and keeps you scared. It is fear on steroids. It tingles your insides but not in a good way. It makes your heart feel as if it is about to exlode from your chest and run away with the 20 cans of Red Bull that it feels like it has drunk.

Anxiety is not always obvious to outsiders. It’s not often a physical attritubte you can see with your own eyes. It doesn’t advertise itself on a billboard across your forehead. Anxiety is hidden within. Sometimes very well so.

Anxiety is a series of deep breaths, a lot of inner talking … Stay calm, deep breath, you’re ok. But anxiety usually yells louder … You’re going to fuck up, you’re not worthy, everyone is looking at you.

Anxiety causes you to over analyse situations, to obsess over the worst possible scenarios and can lead to compulsive behaviours.

Anxiety can feel like a heart attack. Then the anxiety increases because you begin thinking you are actually having a heart attack.

“Calm down.” These are not two words that will cure anxiety. Don’t say it to an anxious person. “Don’t worry. Be happy.” Another four words that will not cure anxiety.

Anxiety feels heavy and attacking. Heavy enough to weigh you down and brutal enough to make you feel like all of the nonense it tells you is true.

Anxiety lies to you. About everything. Anxiety is not a friend you want in your corner. Anxiety will not alter your future for the better but it will alter your present for the worse.

Breathing helps. Deep breathing. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4.

Move. Fast. Controlled. Deliberate. Then breathe. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4.

Speak. To someone you trust. A professional. A friend. And then breathe. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4. In 2, 3, 4 and out 2, 3, 4.

Courage is not the first step. The first step is courageous. 

One love,

DRK xxx

If you or a loved one is experiencing severe anxiety or depression get help! Talk to someone you trust or find a professional who can help you.

Call Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

What depression feels like…

‘It feels like you are in the middle of an ocean. Surrounded by boats filled with vibrant people. They are laughing happily amongst themselves. They are happy.They tell you to keep swimming. To keep yourself afloat. But you can’t swim. It’s the most overwhelming feeling you can ever feel. You feel like you are drowning in a sea of smiling faces.

It feels like you are in one cubic metre of quicksand. People are standing alongside it. They are smiling and chatting happily amongst each other. They throw you a piece of string and tell you to grab it. To hold on and pull yourself out. It is impossible. It’s fucking quicksand. You are sinking.

It feels like you are the axis of the world. You are standing still while it spins around you. No control. Just watching it spin.

It feels like you are a missile. Launched by someone else. Targeted somewhere else. In someone else’s control. Out of your own control.

It feels like a black hole. A rabbit trap. A suicide bomber. A puppet handled by a psychotic puppeteer.

It feels alone.
It feels scared.
It feels vulnerable.
It feels overwhelming.

It feels like smiling aliens are leaning into your space, speaking a language only they understand. You just nod and say “I’m fine…”

It feels like dread.
It feels like bad news.
It feels like your smile is painted on with a razor blade.
It feels like it will never end.
Never go away. Never.’

And if it’s you that feels this way then breathe. You are not alone. You are not weak. It’s ok to say, out loud, that you are not fine. There is a way out. There is a life jacket. There is a rescue helicopter on its way. And you are the pilot. You are the puppeteer. You are the missile launcher. You are somebody who matters. Really you are.

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One love,
DRK xxx