#thisdoesntmeanyes

Consent.

Consent is a word that I will teach my sons. Consent is a word I want you to teach your sons and share the word together with all the men and women of this world…

Something else I’d like to share is that whether we believe or dont believe there is such a thing as rape culture, victim blaming and slut shaming all of the obscenities, all of the fallacies standing alongside these things should be abolished. Detonated. Destroyed.

Rape culture is disputed. It’s disputed because it’s “feminist”. But rape is not about feminism. It’s not about men v’s women. Rape is not about equality. What it is about and what surely cannot be disputed is that what women say, wear or post via social media is interpreted by some people, possibly a lot of people, in all their unholy judgements that she either ‘wanted it’, asked for it’ or ‘deserved it’. 

Rape culture victimises the victims. They are not taken seriously by all walks of human life and they then become the questioned. Dodging humiliating bullets of “What were you wearing?”; “How much had you had to drink?”; “Did you give him your number?” Rape culture blames the victim, trivialises sexual assault, scrutinises the victims clothing, attitude, history and continues to objectify women. 

Whether she wears a short skirt, a tight dress, bares her midriff, whether you buy her a drink at the bar or 10. Whether she plays with her hair and sends you flirty signals, licks her bright red lips or comes homes with you, consent is the only active guarantee that what you are about to participate in is legal. LEGAL.

Let me repeat that…

Consent is the only active guarantee that what you are about to participate in is legal.

It’s an all embodied passionate yes. A ‘yes’ is consent. A ‘yes’ is hot. A yes is a yes.

A short skirt cannot say yes. A hair flick cannot say yes. Swapping phone numbers does not say yes.

Consent.

Only consent can say yes.

Drunk does not mean yes. Drunk means be a fucken gentleman and make sure she gets home safely. Be an even truer gentleman and call her the next day to see if she is ok. How she pulled up. If she wants to have breakfast with you.

Drunk does not mean yes.

Walking the street late at night is not a yes. It is, unfortunately, dangerous sometimes but it is still not a yes. It is a “Can I call someone to come pick you up?” or a “Here’s $20 let me call you a cab?” It’s women sticking up for women – not judging and vilifying them. Making sure they’re safe. Making sure they are ok. And it is men being gentlemen.

Unconsensual sex is rape. 

Full stop.

*Featured image courtesy of unslutproject.com*

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