I missed it. I was not born with it. Can’t find it or buy it and I’m pretty sure dynamic lifter isn’t going to help me grow it. I get frustrated when I realize I am missing the decisive gene and trust me it frustrates me more than it frustrates you … well, I think, maybe, I don’t know, what do you think?
So as a fair warning to you all don’t ever ask me where we should go for lunch, what hairstyle I’m going for or what I’m going to be when I grow up. I have no fucking idea! My decisions are generally based around other people’s decisions “Lunch? Oh where ever you’d like to go…. Mexican? Sure that sounds perfect!” Perfect even though I know I actually don’t really like Mexican and I will definitely end up with severe indigestion for the remainder of the day, fun fun. But the indigestion discomfort is quite often worth not having to have made a decision God forbid it be the wrong one.
I walk into the salon with a dozen different pictures saved on my phone all thanks to Pintrest. They are all different but kinda same-same too. But when that question comes rolling off the hairdressers tongue while she’s fiddling with my hair “Sooo what are we doing today?”my mind freaks out and erases the half assed decisions I think, I thought I had made so instead my mouth fumbles out some shit about not knowing and what would she recommend.
As for my life. Well, once, I wanted to be a hairdresser. Then a writer. Then a poet. A child care worker. An Interior Designer. A fashion stylist. An eBay store owner. A healer. A successful bullshitter. A “happy” stay at home mum. A psychic. A big lotto winner. An Internet sensation selling something that was, well sensational and to some degree I’ve done them all but no firm decision on which one I want to do for a week let alone for life. Well, except for when I decided I wanted to be big lotto winner but there was confusion with the Universe on this when I said big. See? Now that’s why I don’t bother making decisions!
Even when we are simply driving along and my husband asks “Left or right?” I panic! “Um I’m not sure. We could go left but then it might be busy in town and we might get all the red lights…. Ummm so maybe we should go right, right? Because there’s no stop lights around the back tracks and that might be quicker. But left is…” He’s turned left already not waiting for my indecisive tangent to end. Left or right. One to two minutes difference. Hardly a life changing decision right there!
Being indecisive means you miss out on things. You talk to yourself a LOT. You frustrate your spouse and friends. You take way too long to say yes or no to really simple questions and when you do you don’t feel confident and you
may will again change your mind. You always hesitate or are usually in two minds about things. It’s real fun! Strap it together with impatience and watch this shit get real!
Even now I am feeling impatient with this lengthy post and am indecisive about finishing……. Hell, should I even post this? Yes do it! No wait just read it again for the 15th time! Ok maybe now you can…. Oh hang on a sec wait ….. Oh fuck it …..