I’ve recently decided to only keep what I need or love in my life and the first thing to go was Facebook! I’ve always known, though I’d never have admitted it, what a massive time wasting lack of substance, technology induced, application it is for an addict like me! It is like opening a bottle of Scotch, pouring it slowly and deliberately over ice, placing it under the nose of an alcoholic and telling them not to look at it, not to smell it, not to desire it or be angry at it. It’s unkind and impossible to ignore. A few days in and with so much more time in my days I know that it is real connection I crave. I need real people. People who are actually my friends, who know me and what I am up to, who will stop me in the street, embrace me and light up when chatting to me. They know how to pick up the phone and call me, in fact they have my number! They knock on my door and really do ‘like’ my new haircut because they say “I like your new haircut”. They ask me with a real life voice if I am ok, how I’m doing and love to know what’s new with me. That is what human interaction is all about!
I am over watching other people’s lives but not my own. Living everyone else’s dreams while I’m not even sure what mine are. I am no longer needing to see what everyone is up to, see the breathtaking food they cook, how amazingly they care for their children and how perfect their husbands are. I’m tired of comparing myself and feeling like I am coming off second best, I no longer want to see how much life has now become a competition and I feel no desire to put myself out there to be judged or deliver an image of myself that isn’t true or real because really these are all just snippets – like a trailer of a movie when you only see the good bits only to find out the real movie is quite a disappointment.
Too many people are too busy taking photos and videos to ‘share’ with friends rather then just being in the moment. Nobody needs proof that I was at the bestest ever dinner party on the weekend or that my amazing and super skilled son score the first (and only) goal at soccer – unless of course I am a murder suspect and need a solid alibi I suppose!
And it’s not just Facebook that I no longer need but also the gazillion subscriber emails that I have flooding my account daily all with the latest trends, deals, bargains or inspirational blah-di-blahs – yep unsubscribed all of those mofos!!
I’ve also quit my business so I can concentrate on my three necessities: my family, my health, my writing. These are my passions. I no longer have to prove I can do it all or that to be a woman in the 21st century that I even have to do it all because while we are doing it all we are not doing one of those things well.
I’ve noticed in the short time I’ve been on my break from Facebook that I am much clearer. I have more time. I know the friendships I will keep will be the friendships filled with substance and genuity. Having 234 friends may seem like you have many people who care for you but essentially you are sharing your chosen and specific information with virtual people. And all this information is stored, analysed and manipulated by Facebook to target you with advertising, to entice you to click on things, to sell you shit all so they make money (and lots of it). This, do you know, was once called a breach of privacy. They spy on you, while you stalk others – it’s a crazy world! So, perhaps with each new ‘friend request’ we accept the less we bond to the real and true parts of human interaction. This is called regression and disconnection not progression and connection, Facebook just wants you to believe that.