Why Can’t Mosquitos Suck Fat

Wouldn’t that be so much more beneficial if those little suckers sucked fat instead of blood?! It just makes so much more sense to me… Don’t you agree? It’s not a big ask, quite simple really to mess with the order of the universe. It’s like turning a vegan into a carnivore or a chicken into a piece of tofu. No biggie!

I’d even be happy for a couple (hundred) of itchy red lumps just so I could donate some tucker to some starving Mosquitos out there. A few bites and some deep, deep, long, deep, long sucks on my tummy, thighs and butt for that little mozzie so he can take some fat home to feed his family. Poor little guy. He’s a hardworking mozzie after all we should cut the guy some fat slack! It’s his job to bring home the human bacon! How will his kids be able to get a decent education if they can’t concentrate with their hungry bellies? …….

Ahhh I’d even forego the calamine lotion just to enjoy those little itchy bites……

And you see if I was truly Superwoman I would be able to use my superpowers to create a liposuction mosquito to design the amazing post baby body you see in the magazines… But isn’t it so heartbreaking to watch Superwomen being so absorbed in their bodies that they don’t appreciate the gift of life in their arms … Me included!

The pressure I feel to look a certain way after having my fifth child sometimes seems insurmountable! But once again I am busting this myth of “the weight just fell off” 3 days after giving birth! Why are we so competitive with each other? It’s not Superwoman versus Superwoman! It’s Superwoman versus The Villains and then beating the absolute shit out of those terrible villains who are out to destroy lives! Let’s stick together, we don’t need no fat sucking mosquito in our imaginary minds 🙂

One Love,
DRK xxx