I eat cardboard for breakfast

Yep! Its true! Each morning for the past two weeks I’ve been eating cardboard for breakfast! Not the regular shaped-like-a-box type of cardboard. Not even the cardboard that comes to your door delivered by Australia Post each week from an online purchase you’d forgotten you bought… I’m talking the kind of cardboard that is actually in the ceral aisle at the supermarkets. Its brown like cardboard, it swells up when mixed with liquid – like cardboard – and to be honest the flavour is bland like cardboard …. Not that I’ve tasted the real variety, honest I haven’t, but if I ever did I would expect cardboard to taste like this!

So its true. The cardboard that I have fallen in love with is All Bran! Weird right?! I love it for many reasons…. It really does make you ‘regular’, nobody else in my house will touch it with a ten-foot pole and I only need a little bit before I become totally bored with its lack-lustre flavour that my portion control is superb!

Which brings me to portion control…. Portion and control… Two words that are foreign to me when used in cahoots with each other. Seperately I am fine with each word – like ‘Portion’ – The bigger the portion the better. And ‘Control’ – I am in total control of not dripping that chocolate sauce from my spoon… That’s right huh?!

So why portion and control? Well, my husband and I have embarked on a weightloss journey together – he’s doing great, I am actually really proud of him. I’m doing OK but I could be doing better. Mind you, I am cooking every healthy meal for my hubbie while he is home. He does not have to lift a finger nor does he have to use any brain cells to even think about “what” to cook. And then when he goes away for a week someone else cooks for him so the hardest part for him is to simply pick the healthy choices. I on the other hand have five kids to run around after while he’s away. Five kids who want to eat like ALL THE TIME and five kids who do not love the kinds of foods that I am supposed to be eating… Yes, I am throwing a little pity party and quite possibly making excuses but its true. Even though I am Superwoman right?! So I should have some amazing superpowers huh?! I should be able to do anything I set my mind to, isn’t that what you’re thinking! Coz Superwomen are made up of lots of tough and strong-willed thing-a-me-bobs that ensures we are always in control?! Wrong!

I’m busting this clean red knickered myth! Superwomans hair of bouncing golden curls takes hours of bleaching and styling to perfect, her hair is actually poo-brown and frizzy. Her abs of steel come from years and years of yo-yo dieting and a whole lot of spanx in her wardrobe – yep she wears sucker-innerer Bridget Jones style underwear under those tights. And those super high cheekbones! Don’t even get me started on them! They are implants and a whole bucket load of illuminating cream ladies! Seriously! Myth busted!!!

One love ladies!

DRK xxx


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